Dear Future Me,
This is really more of a Dev Journal now that I’m thinking about it.
We. Trudge. On.
It’s been a slow month of work, and I haven’t completed all my goals, but we reached some big milestones. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say it’s because I’m going off plan and losing focus on exactly what needs to be worked on. Maybe its feature creep, maybe its technical debt, maybe it’s just a misunderstanding of how much needed to be done, but it seems more work comes out of the each task as I go.
Recap from Last Month
- Finalize the save system
Create assets for Steve’s House for the opening cut-scene- Write more of the story for the first section of the game. (Bottom Secret Labs)
Kinda? Turn said story into cut-scenes, 2-3.Create the Steam account and start creating page for it.🎉Create maybe 2-3 levels.- Post something about it somewhere for feedback. Thinking Reddit.
First What Didn’t Get Done
The save system, of course! Right now the only thing holding it back is the update to the save file once a level is complete. So I made some levels to get this going. However, I find the design of the levels lack luster and I need to focus in on what makes a level satisfying to complete. More on that later. (Translate: I got distracted by details.)
Writing more story to the game: This one is for good reason, I forgot I had 2-3 cut-scenes already written for the opening sequence. Hooray for past me!
No, I didn’t post anything to a public forum. I’ll get there. Add it to the list for June!
More Importantly, What Did Get Done?
Steve’s House is… Something.
I like the assets, but the vibes are all off and I forgot he sits at a computer, not a TV. Favorite part is the houseplants and his chosen art for the walls is all various sandwiches.
As part of setting up the cut-scenes creation, I needed to make characters for all the parts. Currently just stand-ins, but I’m liking how they’re coming out so far.
Level design is hard.
It’s one thing to give someone a goal and a way to get there, but to make it an adequate challenge, make the method(s) obvious, have the distances and interactions feel satisfying, give it any kind of replayability, introduce new concepts to the player, have it make sense to the universe it’s in, and on top of that it has to be fun?!…
These are not things I know how to do (yet). So, much learning is to be done.
Now for the Big One
Although this is probably the least productive thing I’ve done all month, we have a Steam developer page! Easy step, but big milestone. So that’s exciting!
On to June!
Goals for June are organizing and planning. I need to reassess the work to be done, and refocus on individual task to be completed and in what order. A big hindrance right now is that I’ll start a task, only to find I have one or two other things I should have done before that would have made it easier. So for at least half of the June work, we’re going back to the Design Doc and filling out spreadsheets. Woo?
The other half will be education, I’m going to be focusing on researching ways to improve my level designing. Additionally, better organizing techniques for the workload.
Success for next Dev Log will be measured in confidence that I know what the next steps are. Looking forward to it, I’ll see you in a month!
… and the Personal Journey
One of the big things this month was listening to Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book has been recommended to me so many times, and I finally got around to it. So, thank you to all the people that recommended it over years. I will now proceed to poorly describe misunderstood concepts that I like from the book.
One of the things that I really latched onto from this book was thinking of habits not as processes you should be doing, or outcomes you are trying to aspire to, but first thinking of the identity you are trying to be. I am not trying to work on games regularly, I am trying to be someone that works on games (Read the book, James explains it WAY better). It’s a small adjustments in thinking, but much like the original idea that sparked this whole project, it’s a reframing that makes the process feel easier, and more natural.
The other big concept this month has been working towards understanding the line between what I expect of myself and what other expect of me.
I find I spend a lot of time thinking about what other people are thinking, trying to predict what they want and what they expect. Not like a dedicated intentional thought process, but simply running in the background of my mind in passing moment throughout the day. So, much energy put to trying to read minds.
This is a small habit that, by itself, I would think is “only trying to be courteous.” I’m trying to know ahead of time if I can help, or get out of their way, or improve their day in any way. However, in the context of perfectionism and everything else I’m learning about myself this year, it’s part of me telling stories so I feel more in control.
These stories I tell myself in most passing moments, are like the passing cloud-like-thoughts made reference to when learning meditation practices. They drift by, I can acknowledge them, and that’s that. On the other hand, sometimes they build to become clusters of anxiety and expectation that I think are my expectation for myself, but are in fact expectations that I completely made up, from stories I made up, about other people, that aren’t even involved in this conversation I’m having with myself… If that makes sense. (I want to throw in a joke about storm clouds, but couldn’t find a good spot.)
Thinking about that feels like a small weight off my shoulders. Surely a hard habit to break, but I have some new techniques to throw at it.
That’s where I am at the end of this month. Some good lessons, some new understandings, neither good nor bad. Just am.
